The neighbor’s husband!

My Terrible Husband Lesson 104-Stop keeping up with Mrs. Jones’ husband!

Marriage in suburbia!

I don’t know if it is just me or if it always appears that the neighbor’s husbands are quite more inspired to work outside and around the house…as today is a nice warm day in the north east, I happen to notice that a majority of the neighborhood HUSBANDS are outdoors doing their Saturday chores! and when did this become so obvious to me? maybe because I am the only wife this morning getting her yard work done, alone?

I know they say never to “keep up with Jones'” but does it also mean I shouldn’t envy those wives who’s husbands wake up extra early just to get a head start on the grass cutting?

I like to garden. I like to plant flowers. I enjoy it. My husband on the other hand, takes no pleasure in gardening whatsoever. So…I am out here alone, cleaning up the garden beds and just feeling, well, jealous!

Ok I know, it doesn’t mean those wives are happier or even married to better men and I should just mind my own business.  After all, during the time I am gardening I am able to get some well earned alone time and feel accomplished at the end of the day that I did all the work by myself.

Throw away the score card

Unmasked with David Charleston

forgiveLittle ones are often caught in the cross fire of parents fighting. Recently Carrie Underwood drew attention to this issue in her song titled Little Toy Guns.

In a fight someone has to decide to put their pride down. When someone is willing, it is amazing how the damage can stop almost immediately. It takes two to tango, remember. Pride and jealousy are two emotions that often fuel arguments.

Is your relationship worth fighting for?  Then put your weapon down. Fly the white flag.

Surrender isn’t weakness; it is the start of healing.

Abe Lincoln who led one of the bloodiest battles in American history said, “I’ve been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had no where else to go. My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for that day.” He understood humility and surrender.

The reason why so many…

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Every Day is Mother’s Day…

My-Terrible-Husband Lesson 103- A holiday is just like any other day…Including mother’s day!

I woke up early this morning and felt inclined to take care of a few honey-do items on the list myself. Maybe it was a strong cup of coffee that got me going early on…As my husband left for a softball game, and the children were all still asleep, I took advantage of some me time.  ME TIME? There I was on Mother’s Day cleaning out the garage, including sweeping and sorting through all the crap we’ve held onto since last fall.   As I swept the dirty, dusty floor, I thought, “wow, even on Mother’s Day I can’t catch a break, and where are my children and my husband, some Mother’s Day…as if, yada, yada, yada! I stopped myself.  I knew I was going down that “oh poor is me” funnel cloud! I remembered some advice I received while I was single.  It was a time around Valentine’s Day many moons ago, that romantic holiday that is absolutely dreaded by singles everywhere.  The advice was to view any holiday as it was any other day, without meaning or expectation, and all that anxiety around what things SHOULD be like will disappear and move on with your day as you would any other day.

So then I went on my way, sweeping and cleaning…as it was the perfect time to do it, whether it was Mother’s Day or not, it was a good time to get things done.

I did manage to get a yoga class in and that was my present to myself after a morning of chores!

My Nest is a Mess! 

MY TERRIBLE HUSBAND Lesson 102- Just pick it up & clean it up!    

“Put the socks In the dirty clothes basket! I am not your mother!”

 I used to despise my mothers nagging about cleaning my room, yet now I sound just like her.  The issue is how to maintain peace with a system of chores that weigh so heavily in my direction! I have accepted that women like to maintain the nest…we are genetically programmed to keep things in order for the greater good for our family. Correct?  I once was complaining to a group of co-workers about my first husband’s lack of cleanliness. He would leave dishes in the sink and so on and so on and there I would be cleaning up after him.  One of the women, older and wiser than me said, “just pick it up and clean it up, and don’t complain about it, it’s not worth it”

 Maybe that was the best marital advice I have ever gotten and it was FREE! In the end we are not divorced due to his messiness so I spent countless hours trying to change behaviors which I probably never could, without a lobotomy anyway. 

..So as I try to find a simple compromise and accept that the nest will be as good as it can be and when all else fails pick up, clean it up and just let it go! 

NAMASTE 

http://www.realsimple.com/m/home-organizing/cleaning/labor-of-love-messy-partner

Yes Dear!

My Terrible Husband Lesson 101: Keep a sense of humor!

Tonight my husband asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, and I answered…

“I want you to follow me around the house most of the day and for anything I ask for you to take care of,  for you to say “yes dear” and that is all I want for Mother’s Day!”

then I asked him to practice the words “yes” and “dear”

I found this quite amusing!

Yes keeping a sense of humor!

8 Ill-advised Reasons for Getting Married, 1792

#love #marriage #myterriblehusband

The History of Love

What would you say makes the most solid foundation for a marriage? Trust? Financial security? The sort of profound and death-defying passion that would make Jack & Rose weep with envy? [let’s face it, they are the modern-day Romeo & Juliet, and I’m only moderately ashamed to admit it.]

It was in the latter half of the eighteenth century that the concept of marrying for love began to gain currency in the English popular mindset, and the younger generation expected a bit more say in who their partner might be. Inevitably, centuries of parental tyranny in these matters meant that alliances negotiated in terms of acreage and titles continued to sweep many reluctant couples to the altar.

Here, however, we have a brilliant print suggesting that many people cannot be trusted with such a momentous decision, giving a range of slightly less conventional – but still remarkably unwise – reasons for marriage. Take…

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